Deja-blah? Time to Cocoon.

Well it's been a long while since my last "blogging". I've just been so busy, and have missed lots of opportunities to comment on many, many strange / hilarious / semi-interesting occurrences. First off though, this weather? I am getting a deja-blah moment from earlier this year. I don't remember how I dealt with it last time, but I'm sure it was boring and took way too long. Maybe I cocoon-ed like those aliens on . . . well Cocoon. Oh well, either way it was like a month of utterly-dumbed-down TV and beef jerky. And as boring is that sounds, it was actually worse.

For all of my missed "bloggings", I've narrowed it down to 3 things I wanted to mention the most.

1 - So recently I went to see Tori Amos in concert with my girl. It was really fun. The most adult concert I've every been to. And I mean that it a mature way, not a sleazy XXX kind of way. The people were so kicked back and mellow. Minus of course the one WAY TOO PSYCHED dancing hippy-chick on X that sat about five rows below us. I think it's safe to say that for her it was probably a really different experience. But the concert was very intense, just mostly from the stage vicinity - not the audience. The next morning we got up and enjoyed (not exactly enjoyed... maybe endured is better put) a free continental breakfast at La Quinta Inn of Grand Prairie. I will say that FREE was less of a privilege, than it was more closely the appropriate cost. The breakfast area served lots of instant stuff while little kids and scruffy looking people watched The Dukes of Hazzard at 9 in the morning. Nothing quite says 1 and 1/2 star hotel like a bowl of instant apple cinnamon oatmeal while watching a 1969 orange Dodge Charger jumping a bridge.

2 - I went to Riviera Maya, Mexico in late October for a wedding. That was a whole big random vacation. I got sunburned a few times, pinched on the toe by some crazy crab that got in our pool, I watched some quasi-entertaining Mexican TV, and I ate some really gross lettuce (even though everyone said not too, but it was too late). The weather was amazing though and I had lots of fun hanging out with all of the people. All and all, I'd call it a win. Plus, Bill and I went swimming and our shorts got bleached from the pool water. Damn, what are they trying to kill in that water... the ebola virus?

3 - Then there was a time when my girlfriend and I went to the grocery store by her house in Norman. We were walking out and a lady came walking by. This lady had her blue tooth headset on and was making a super cool hands-free business call. She was talking loudly and acting as if she wanted everyone else to know how important she was. As she walked by I thought about how much of douche she looked like. Then as she passed, I saw that she had some toilet paper coming out of the back of her pant's waistline. Ahhhhhh . . . . there is a God. I could've stopped her from going into the store and told her, but that would've seemed like I was interfering with a perfectly cosmic karma event. And who am I to intervene in the balance of the universe?

So like a caterpillar or possibly a little shriveled up glow-in-the-dark alien, I guess I will prepare to Cocoon for a while until the weather subsides. Just don't let Wilford Brimley and those other ol' coots into the pool.

My Soda... The Pessimist?

So today was feeling like a very normal Wednesday. I got some stuff done around the house, worked a little on the computer, thought about blogging, and went to the local convenience store to get a Sugar-Free Black Cherry Jones Soda. If you are unfamiliar with Jones, then you should check them out. If soft drinks were bands, then this would be your local indie-alt answer for the mundane "Top 40" Coke and Pepsi. I digress though...

In reality, I'm not too happy with Jones right now. Each week I purchase a little bit of wisdom from underneath the cap. Purportedly Jones Soda, "swiped these quotes from actual fortunate cookies." I guess plagiarism doesn't apply to fast food / convenient store destiny. Now to the point...

Last week my cap said "You will be successful in any gathering." I was happy with this one. I kind of felt like it talked to me. Not in a I-might-need-lithium-for-schizophrenia-because-I-hear-voices kind of way, instead it was a "seems accurate" kind of way. It was the day after my birthday celebration. I was feeling good and had a great time with a large gathering of people. I just felt that this fortune was like predicting the past instead of the future, but who am I to complain? The plot thickens...

Then I took the time to think back to two weeks ago. It said, "Learn about Bugs." Funny thing was that I had spoken with someone the night before that was studying Entomology. Coincidence? Maybe. But yet again, Jones Soda only told me this after the fact. I'm not saying that a bottle of soda has the ability to write in the answer after "pencils down" or anything, but it did seem a little less than prophetic. Moving on...

So today I was eagerly awaiting what the omniscient Jones had to say. To my utter dismay, it read "Keep expectations reasonable." About what? These soda fortunes? Life? Ever bowling a perfect game? I need more specific clues. At this point...

I actually got a little mad at my bottle cap. Should I care if my Soda is a pessimist? I am by no means limited by the insight of a pretentious 12 oz (355 ml) beverage lid. So I took action . . .

I went back to the store and bought another bottle for the sheer will of self fate. I read the cap and it said, "Now is the time to quit your regular routine." Now that's good advice. As part of my regular routine, I will no longer be reading my Jones Soda caps or taking advice from any pompous overpriced sugar-free colored water.

Not-my-balloons-broccoli-head-camera-corral-liver-out-the-face-sweetest-gift-ever-birthday bash

Last night lots of people came out to celebrate my birthday... and Catholically sanctioned hedonism (Fat Tuesday). And by the way, the balloons were not for me. I got that question about 10 times last night. Plus, I prefer balloon animals instead... WOW a misshapen giraffe... do it again!

Well thanks. I sometimes say that and feel like it doesn't have the "ummph" it should, but in this case it most definitely will. I am very appreciative of everyone. In talulah fashion, I am going to personally try to thank everyone for yesterday.

"the sweetest girl you know" - Truth in advertising? Yes! This is without a doubt the sweetest girl I know. I want to thank you for flying in from TN and providing the best three days of my life. I already miss you so much and can't wait to see you again. After going to the airport this morning at 6:30, "Leaving on a Jet Plane" has become the single hardest song in the world to listen to.

"bambino" - you bought my tab, you bought my girlfriend's tab, you bought my girlfriend's friend's tab. You did that all as a favor to me and I really appreciate it even if we only spent $31 . . . wow, we're thrifty! 

"talulah" - you sang, you sang, you sang . . . and you told some of the funniest-ass stories I've ever heard. Your "liver out the face" routine should be featured on Comedy Central.

"*theresa*" - you let me crash at your house, then you let me ride with you to the airport, then you gave me a ride home. I owe you big. 

"Chris" - You're a new friend, but a good one. There's never a dull moment when you are around. Stand-up kind of guy.

"lindy.c." - my new Buffy buddy. It's always good to see you out. You kept the "camera corral" held down while people came and went. Thanks for returning the favor on bday celebrations.

"Mr. Bill" - you brought the table center piece, which became the conversation catalyst for a large part of the evening. "Bill's Birthday Wagon" is the name I have given it. Some other people called it "the lowrider car with broccoli head boy in the back seat" - I like both names.

"Jacqueline" - you gave me lots of beads . . . and I didn't even have to show my boobs. You're a great friend, so glad you made it out . . . even if "Kat" didn't. But, you know "Kat" as well as anybody, so no surprises there . . .

"dana" & "Tina" - you guys always make me smile. dana and her funny "lisp-speak" (or "thisp-thpeak" as I like to call it) . . . "tis tha theason for kith & kin." Tina, your myspace fears are too humorous for words. One of these days we're going to walk you through it and learn ya real good on sum myspace-dom.

There are lots more that were there and wished me the best (Chad, Sally, Whitney, Shirley, Gary, Crystal, Kara, Tom, Ryan, Laura, Mark, etc.). If someone feels left out then comment back. I will edit and amend to this thank you.

Here is a P.S. thank you to those that couldn't make it, but took the time to say Happy Birthday: Marla, Kathy, Amanda, Kim, Jen H., Whitney B., Carrie, Becky, Jason S., Bobbie, Sarah G., Shayla, Pat, Alan N., etc.

Funny FYI side note - at work I got a Star Wars card, two "computers suck" related cards, some Propel sports drinks, and Gary Larson's "Night of the Living Crash-Test Dummies" book for my birthday. The people at work are starting to come around. I feel like they really know me in a scary "too close to home" kind of way.