Modern Blah, Blah: Pt 4 - Paging Dr. Doogie

This all started earlier this year about going to the doctor and feeling old - titled "Modern... whatever that word is for things you remember?" and my followup doctor experience "Modern... whatever... : Pt. 2 Adding Insult to Injury" and most recently Modern Whatever: Pt 3 Back to the Doctor.

When our story ended last time, I was in a cliffhanger (it was sweeps week, what do you expect). I finally went to the doctor with fear of the flu only to have my hopes and dreams of treating it dashed with ol' fashioned wagon-side medicin'ing.

As our story begins this time... I really am sick and I've had a whole weekend of discomfort to prove it. I finally dragged myself off the couch and across the lawn to my car for another visit to.... Dr. Doogie (disclaimer - he is very young, but his name is not really Doogie, but he is a Doctor... I think). After arriving I found that there was a waiting room full of people looking as haggard as ever. To my dismay, the lady at the front desk didn't even ask why I was there or my symptoms - just a simple have a seat. Every time someone had their name called, I felt like I was in a bad episode of the Twilight Zone where the person was really being hauled off to a grizzly death (probably an ironic episode which urged people not to eat meat by using aliens as a metaphor - that seemed to happen a lot during that show).

Anywho, so I'm waiting my turn only to find that everything goes quickly and by the numbers. The only annoying thing was that the nurse told me I had lost weight. I was almost happy for myself, but she said it in a way that ruined the whole experience. It was more of a "oh too bad you're sick, but at least you lost some weight" kind of way. I really didn't have the energy to slap anyone, so ultimately cool heads prevailed.

Dr. Doogie actually gave me some medicine this time and a shot. For this, I was grateful but ultimately bummed out. I once again needed to take a steroid and antibiotics for a sinus infection. If you needed to view my medical history over the last 30 years on a graph, then probably a good parallel would be to view the Billboard chart sales of the band Wang Chung over the same time period. And on that note I will be praying for a Wang Chung reunion tour in 2010.